Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
