Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
