I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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