I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
