is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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