you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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