She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
