You're completely useless in the revolution.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
