Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
