Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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