Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
