If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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