Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
