I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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