is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
