My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize