I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
