brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
