Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
