I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He passed out mid-signature
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
