Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
is it fun? or sober?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
