He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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