Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
