my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
