We need to rekindle our bromance
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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