You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
