Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
