come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
