His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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