I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
