yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Barsexuality is the new black.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
