Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
