if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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