plz talk dirty to me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
