just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
