You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
