She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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