I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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