He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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