I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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