i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
