i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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