Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
