ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
