you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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