the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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