See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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