Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
