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The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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