Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think i got beer on your cat.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
