We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
