I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize