But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
