these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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