ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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