a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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