I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
