I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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