Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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