I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
