haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
