At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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