Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize